Contentment

Are there any advantages to mental illness?

For me, one might be a lack of contentment.

“LACK of contentment?”, you might ask?

I believe my schizophrenia is a main factor in helping me to be a producer, rather than a consumer.

I enjoy, not just writing for this blog, but also composing music, recording phonography, painting abstract paintings, creating prints, writing poetry and essays and other forms of art.

I am so accustomed to creating (and enjoying) my own media, that I have fallen out of touch with popular culture. When I join my wife in the living room, I tend not to like or have patience for what I see on the television. I also feel uncomfortable consuming other people’s art, rather than creating my own.

From my perspective, it seems perfectly reasonable to create over 5000 audio works in 15 years. Others might immediately suggest that that is an absurd amount of music, connoting mental illness.

Can’t I just make my point and quit? What keeps me going?

It’s a sense of feeling incomplete, of wanting to create more, or, at least, to express more– to do it better, to fill in the gaps. There is so much that goes unexpressed in this world. In my free time, I try to remedy this.

I can’t help but to imagine that a sane person might be patient enough to pense silently.

Not a crazy man like myself.

Author: mystified13

Sole member of Mystified and Mister Vapor.

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