Given my intimacy problems, the fact that I was single for a number of years, and my status as a musician and artist, the subject of my gender preference came up a lot.
Often, I would be approached for a collaboration, and discover that there were motivations behind the project that were sexual, that were supposed to lead to intimacy, be that hetero- or homo- sexual. Many times homosexuality was implied.
I think that is because the art world offers people with different gender preferences various ways of expression– it opens of an ability to dialogue. It is known that many artists are not “hetero-normative”, and there are additionally certain codes, images, and so forth that are used to indicate preference.
As for myself, I am completely straight. I have hang-ups regarding touch, for sure, and some attributes that may be effeminate. But I am a straight man.
My philosophy on sexuality is that generally it is a person’s own personal business. As I mentioned, I have collaborated with people who are gender queer, and I work with them every day. To be honest, issues of sexuality don’t come up very often, if at all. When they do, I relegate them to the domain of private preference.
We call sexuality a “preference”. To me, that means that we have the power to choose our designations(s). If we were born a certain way, as some suggest, then we also have the power to choose whether to be open about this aspect of our lives or not.
What I am saying is that I am a very “live and let live” kind of person. Though I am heterosexual, I don’t feel that I have to live in a world that is completely heterosexual.
I especially am against challenging people about their sexual preference(s). This has happened to me quite a bit over the years, and all I can say is, if I make a choice about my gender, then I’ve pretty much made my choice. It’s mine to make, and should be left unchallenged.