I have schizophrenia, yes.
But to me, I am normal.
If I think about it, that’s true. That’s because I recognize my own thoughts, experiences, and means of processing things. My life is predictable enough, steady enough, that I know what to expect. Plus, I am now 46– not a kid anymore.
That’s what’s so strange when one is mentally ill, and light is shed on one’s thoughts– as being abnormal. Because, to the patient, of course, they are quite normal– habitual, even.
I have been going back and creating some mini-documentaries about my old musical projects. One of them, “AutoCad”, had a lot to do with numbers– fractals, equations, and so forth.
I spent some time jotting down my memories about that act, and read them out loud into a recording device.
Hearing my thoughts later, I was like, “Man, people would think that is weird.”
AutoCad involved some strange ideas, and it may be that the world would not readily accept them.
So, for sure, when speaking with others, especially the mentally ill, it might be best to remember that to them, their thoughts and reactions might not seem very shocking– no matter how unusual they might seem to you.